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Baby Boston

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I am only writing on one blog now so for family and friends and clients I apologise to have it all on here but that would be nelles nonsense. Warning this post may be long and sad so skip if you would like. I just wanted to jot down some of the experiences we had gone through to not only have a record of it but also in hopes that maybe it will help someone else who may be going through the same thing.


It is amazing how many people this does happen to, not sure why there is no real written support about it exept that it may be toooo personal for people to write about. I will try to make this short as I have plans in the works to write in a bigger format.


We found out we were going to have a baby in May of 2011. It was around the same time London was getting baptized. We could not be happier and things were going according to plan. Things were going great. I have to admit that I am a prego rockstar. I had my initial apt and bloodwork at 8 wks everything looked great. Went at 12 wks and heard the hearbeat things were great. Went again at 16 wks and heard the heartbeat again weight was good and I was feeling good except for being tired which for me was still in my normal range. Somewhere between 16 wks and 20wks something happened that was not according to my plan.


I had been having feelings that maybe this was not going to happen you know that little voice. I had not been gaining weight like I normally do but I just attributed that to being a little more food wise and I had been working out before and during this pregnancy where before I was young and lazy. We decided to go away for the weekend and before we left B had asked if I wanted to run up to the hospital to have an ultrasound and I said no, if something was wrong I would know. But i think I did know and just did not want to know. So we headed out of town for a fun weekend with family on the mountain in fact the pic above is from that weekend with my lil sis it is the only prego pic i have. The next day was Sunday and during the announcements in church they had announced the funeral services for an angel baby. A warm tingling and a calm understanding came over me that I would too be experiencing what this young mother had.


We went home from church and I told be that I was pretty sure our baby would not make it here to the earth. I had a strong feeling that our baby needed to come and gain the physical body that I was allowed to provide for him and that he would soon return home to heaven. There was a strong understanding in his eyes when I told him and he simply gave me a hug and suggested I rest for the day. As I did I prayed to know what all these feelings meant. Little did I know that two days later I would not here or see a heartbeat on the ultrasound machine. I had to make a decision about what to do.


Brandon rearanged his schedule of patients to meet me at the hospital to deliver our baby. At the time we did not know if we would be having a boy or a girll. After I delivered and it was announced that it was a boy I turned to B and our hearts sank together. I do not know if it would have been any easier if it was a girl. I will not go into details of all that we experienced during the time we were waiting to deliver and after even weeks after but I do know that my prayers were answered and we definately had angels among us during that time. I am so grateful for a gospel that had a plan of where we came from, who we are, and where we are going. I am grateful for a gospel that alows us to pray to our Father in Heaven and feel of his love and spirit through sweet moments of answered prayers. I am grateful for a gospel that believes in Jesus Christ my savior. I am grateful that becuase of his atonement and sacrifice I know that I am not alone even in my sorrow, sadness, gladdness and joy he understands how it feels to love and to loose. I am grateful for all the family and freinds who helped during this time. I am grateful for my three beautiful girls who still have a hard time understanding why they could not see him. They know and I know that we will see him again. That he did come to gain his perfect little body and return home to do a much greater work. Although it is hard, very hard some day to see the eternal perspective of it I am greateful for the knowledge that I wll see him again someday.


Thanks for letting me write this. I could not tell the whole story as it would have taken too long. I could not explain many of the great blessings we recieved at this time because they are still toooo personal but in time.

Our Turn

It was our turn to get our family pics done so I had lori from here take them. Our family has been through a lot recently detailed post to come. But we needed to get our pics done for the year. These pics were hard for me just becuase I am not happy with my body right now. It has been a month since our little Boston returned home and it is hard to still have prego body when you are not and do not have a baby to show for it. So we got all dressed up and headed out to one of our favorite photo spots it is more of an industrial look but I love the contrast. Loved how they turned out and we even did a tribute pic for lil. Boston. My siblings bought this lovely piece of jewelry from here. I love it, it is so nice to just have something close to your heart, it takes away the empty feeling. Loved how the pics turned out. Thanks Lori for all your time and hard work. We are actually headed up the canyon tonight to swap family photos a more fallish look. Stay tuned.



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Squidney turned 6

My Syd turned 6 holy cow I am getting old. She is such a cutie and has the biggest heart. We took a test shoot and it did not turn out, lots of factors, weather, distractions etc. So when her new clothes came from CP she asked if we could go again so we made it a date. She did not want to stop and had some great idea for pics. She is such a beautie. And I love her bangs. Thanks Mrs. Ashley for turning gum cut out of hair into a lovely hair do. Love you Syd!!!


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Playing Catch UP

Holy cow I think for the most part I am caught up. I do want to add a few more things for the blogg and have Syd's 6th birthday shoot to edit and post but everything I have done recently is up Hooray. Here is just a fun pics of my girls, truly my inspiration that a friend and I did for our Dad's for father's day.


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BFF

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Hooray for gooooood friends. Love this gal and her cute fam. She is honestly my BFF since 7th grade. We have been through a lot, shared a lot and keep going. I loved that she asked if I could snap some pics of her fam. Her little guy is such a ham and made this morning so easy. THese are just a few.

Baker Beach

Back during spring break my sis and I caravanned home with our seven kids. It would not have been a complete trip if we did not hit up the city and the beach. So we took a day and headed in to San Fran and stopped at Baker Beach. It was cold, foggy and wiiiiiindy but still snapped some pics for memories.
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Scholar

I got a frantic phone call from a friend saying her daughter needed some head shots. She had just been awarded sterling scholar and needed a pic for them and did not want to use her shcool year book pic. So I hopped in the car picked her up and we ran around town and snapped these beauties.

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I cant wait until I'm 8

Oh we have been planning this one for a while. I knew I wanted her in her white dress (which I made out of my wedding dress) and a horse. Lucky for me the gal who works for us has some on her property so we spent a morning on the horses. It was fun and London had a blast although she was a little nervous riding without a saddle in a slippery dress but she did really good. I had to laugh becuase when she was leading the horse it would not budge as you can see from the pic. I also wanted just some simple portraits of her. I usually shoot in the evening as we did this time but we had some thunderstorms coming in so we raced up to the mountain and snapped a couple but then got stuck in a downpour so we made it back to the car and raced back into to town to capture the rest by an old barn and tall grass. I have to admit I love the dark skies in the background it offered some grat soft box lighting for me.




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Twinner

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While I was home visiting last spring I had a high school friend ask if I would take pics of her 8 month old twins. I was so excited to see her but to also shoot twins. It was a challenge but we worked with what we had and was able to get a few shots of the moment. The little babe was a ham and loved the camera while the little man was a little aprehensive of the foreign black object in his face as you can see from his expressions. Overall it was fun and great to see them

My Niece

I was so excited to have my niece come and stay with us for a little while. It was so nice having some help with the girls but also to hang out with her. She is a great girl and was a little skeptical about having her pic taken but we had a fun time (I think she did tooo) and we were able to get some really great pics. Thanks Am for being such a good sport and a great help

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